It hurts; it hurts to see someone so close wander away just like the leaves fly off in the fall season. As if it bore no connection with the tree that was once indispensable to it or to its existence. It hurts when the leaves take shelter in the flowing river that promises them a movement that was once denied to them. Maybe its human nature to strive for independence, to venture out and see the unseen, explore the unexplored, to love the heart’s love. However, it fails me that the roots the tree is embedded in fail to provide the leaf with enough incentive to stick on. What happened to the age old values of sticking to your roots and staying put to have that shelter with you throughout. The leaf knows that the river will move on and take shelter in the sea. Maybe, the leaf would be tossed over a bridge or a stone to lie on an unseen passage and die a silent death. Still, is the feeling of adventure and the unseen so strong that the leaf risks its life for it.
Its not just today that I’ve lost something. As in with me it has been a constant affair, to lose things from an arm's distance. However, today seems special. I’m hurt, and this pain pinches me. It reflects on a shortcoming within me that fails to notice situations as they are. Maybe I start building castles of sand on a ground of sand. There is a hailstorm that hits and before I notice if there is a damage to my castle, I realize that the ground on which I built that beautiful castle is no longer there. I stand on the edge of the cliff braving the chill when I realize that I stand alone. There’s nothing that I can bank my feelings on. There’s no one whom I can trust, maybe I just can’t feel someone near.
I feel like crying, but my tears have dried. Maybe the wind dries them or maybe the feeling of crying has died a silent death. Maybe the heart knows that there is no point wasting something so precious on something so trivial. Or maybe I’m strong. I don’t know. Or maybe I don’t wish to know what I am from inside and what exactly do I want from life. Maybe I’m just wandering, experimenting with things to strike on their own. Anyways, its still a “Maybe”. And I move on, in search of a new happiness in a distant shore, relying more on the river than the roots quite like the leaf. I don’t know if I’m moving away from the roots but yes I know I am game for some new adventure which, if nothing else, promises me a break from the sad monotony of life. Maybe that’s the pursuit of happiness. And yes, I’m game for it….
